This post from the Pegasus NLP Blog reminded me about one of the most powerful lessons from learning NLP.
..it’s a lot easier to be able to blame others for when we feel bad. Then we don’t have to take responsibility for the mood but can just blame them – and intimidate them through anger or guilt into getting their act together and behaving as we think they should!
But, if we look at things calmly and rationally, no-one is able to get in there and actually change how our brain cells and body chemicals function to produce the mood. It’s our own thinking which does that! We create our own negative moods.
I recently read “The Globalization of Addiction” by Bruce Alexander. A most impressive and well researched study about the cause of all kinds of addictions from excessive consumerism to alcohol. His solution to the problem however was to change the entire planet’s world view and our acceptance of the free market economy! Oh my!
So the way someone might overcome a serious and debilitating addiction is not by changing her feelings of disconnection or whatever purpose the addiction fills, but to change the extensive acceptance of capitalism.
Good luck with that.
A long long time ago, in a galaxy far far away I remember studying “A course in Miracles” and I got stuck on a particular lesson – “I am never upset for the reason I think”.
- idiots and jerks whose purpose in life was to ping me off
- the system
- the weather
- my circumstances
- the universe
- some other unknown thing
When I did NLP training, and learnt about the structure of states and how to get myself into and out of them, I felt relieved.
Of course it took sometime before I was able to truly master this skill, but it was incredibly empowering to know it was even possible. That my mood was something I created inside by how I responded rather than something that was in the control of other people or things.
Knowing this absolutely didn’t change the number of jerks, the system or anything else. It only changed my own reaction to them. And saved me a great deal of mental energy trying to change the world so I wouldn’t be upset.