Cause effects are statements that show how someone believes something works. That X causes Y, or that doing X makes Y happen. Like all beliefs, just because we believe something, it doesn’t make it true. Often looking at our statements can open us up to solutions we hadn’t considered, by questioning our model of the world.
A common cause/effect is an if-then statement. “If I give my children everything they want, they will love me.” It usually has words such as forces, makes, creates, leads to, compels, requires, instills and causes. For instance, “going into business requires a lot of capital.” “Watching television leads to a high crime rate.”
A causing type distortion people often make is assuming that someone can make them fee a certain way. For example, “you made me so angry”. “You exhaust me with your constant whining”. “I won’t be happy until you are home”.
This assumption acts in reverse too. Feeling responsible for the state or happiness of others is a common and debilitating belief. “I know I can make him happy”. “I just seem to upset her”.
Recovery Questions
Meta model questioning uncovers the unconscious model of the process.
- How exactly do I make you angry?
- How specifically can you change his state from grumpy to happy?